Sunlight-Colored Roses

We replace our dependence on others with a dependence on God. As we begin to hold still, we feel a Higher Power begin to offer us guidance and peace in every situation.

I take care of myself and give myself appropriate rest and nutrition.

I was able to see the difference between being powerless and being helpless.

We experienced anger, disbelief, humiliation, betrayal, fear, anxiety, depression, hopelessness, guilt, numbness, to name just a few. In Step One we saw that our attempts to control or deny, so often driven by these powerful emotions, resulted in unmanageability in virtually every aspect of our lives.

Step One reminds us of our proper relationship with others – we are powerless over them. It places us in correct relationship with ourselves – when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives.

For what behaviors of others have I felt responsible?

In seeing our need for a Higher Power, we realize that it is safe for us to be dependent upon God; however, it is risky to depend exclusively for our well-being on another human being.

… sometimes we are addicted to people and situations in our lives.

How have I tried to fill this void in other unhealthy ways?

In what situations have I been unable to perceive reality clearly?

When we are willing to give up our lives, we can truly gain them. In other words, by depending on God to do what we cannot do, we gain independence of spirit.

We used to think we could only trust ourselves, and most of us have plenty of reasons to have developed that philosophy.

We see that the myth of self-sufficiency is full of pride and that it leaves us feeling isolated and lonely.

We have to surrender our will and our lives over and over again.

The peace of mind and serenity that results from daily practice of this Step made us increasingly willing to surrender more and more areas of our lives until we found ourselves truly wanting to turn over our entire will and lives to the care of God as we understood God.

What thing, person, belief or way of life might I be “clinging to desperately?” Being rigorously honest, what am I most afraid to surrender?

What situations in my life could I trust to my Higher Power right now?

Some common symptoms of our emotional insecurity are worry, anger, self-pity and depression.

If I am disturbed by the behavior of others, why do I lack the ability to detach with compassion?

Many of us have noticed with irony that a consequence of not doing this Step (personal inventory) is generally a continuance of the very pain we originally wished to avoid.

Remembering that rigorously honesty is a cornerstone of recovery, what am I most afraid to admit to myself?

We have learned that going it alone in spiritual matters is not wise.

We are only as sick as our secrets. Step Five does not ask us to show our faults to the whole world, but to our own hearts, to the God of our understanding, and to a trusted friend.

My partner’s attention was his to give, not mine to control.

Is there any any area of my life where I still depend only on myself or believe that will power is the answer?

We learned that pride and fear were the motives for much of our irrational behavior. We feared we would never get the things our pride told us we deserved.

I became aware that being judgmental of others was a real problem in my daily life.

I saw just how willing I was to compete against my co-workers to win acceptance, approval and even praise from my boss.

We ask this Power greater than ourselves to remove our shortcomings.

Who was harmed by my behavior?

Do I believe I need to put everyone I have ever come into contact with on my list? What is an appropriate balance?

We need not wallow in excessive guilt or over-responsibility. We need to be honest and sincere, that is all.

By making amends, we admit that we are human like everyone else and cease to set ourselves apart from others.

Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

We can easily fall back into our disease if we are not cautious here. Most of us have experienced the “emotional hangover” – the distressed feeling that is the direct result of yesterday’s negative, emotional turmoil. When it does happen again, we usually find it is triggered by an over-involvement in one of our problems.

We have learned not to carry around excess baggage for long. When we are wrong we admit it as soon as possible.

When we look at ourselves and others objectively, we see that all people, including ourselves, are to some degree spiritually and emotionally ill and frequently wrong.

Pain is the touchstone of all spiritual progress.

The forced delay in making amends was actually a gift from my Higher Power that allowed me to learn some valuable lessons.

At its heart, Step Ten is a process of noticing the motives behind our thoughts, words and actions. Our physical state can also give us information.

Do I have discomfort about any lack of action on my part or about any interaction with others? What were my motivations?

As I think about the coming day, how can I be of best use to my Higher Power and others?

Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

We might dwell upon a favorite prayer or other inspirational reading material from our individual faith tradition.

What influences or role models have I had for prayer and meditation?

The changes in our lives speak the loudest.

To practice these principles in all our affairs.