Writing application materials for an award I got rejected for last year was a pain like flexing a muscle I’ve had all my life and never used, one that is completely floppy or atrophied.
I have always avoided being vulnerable that way because the pain of rejection is so great. I only did this because I need it. Otherwise, no, it’s not worth the fear or the pain. I will only do it if it’s tied to my survival, like a job application or something similar, which this sort of is.
I spent about half of my Spring Break working on it, rewriting everything. The harder I worked, the more it hurt, because it makes me fear rejection all the more when I put all my strength and effort into something.
Sunlight-Colored Roses 