As I look back and see little activity here or otherwise I recognize that it was a brave and painful year. I found strengths and measures of fortitude in the depths of my soul to keep going. In the end, it all collapsed like a house of cards when I realized I can’t go on this way, that no one deserves to live this way.
What does the future hold for me? I don’t know what life holds past the next couple of months. But I’m well, able-bodied, and still have a replenishing energy that allows me to get up every morning and do what I need to do.
What’s been hard is looking at anything I did during my brave, painful months. I feel nauseous every time I think of my brave moments and the things I tried to do to make my profoundly bleak life bright.
No year in my life has ever been filled with such despair.
Sunlight-Colored Roses 